ZLDR JANUARY CHALLENGE

According to Bruce Springsteen and modern research, we were born to run. Yeah…..I don’t know…doesn’t sound right to me.

I mean, if you take a look at my “thoughts / feelings” during January 2023, you will see that I was definitely not born to run.

👟1 January 2023: I woke up in running clothes. I really admire Drunk Me and her ambitions.

👟Do people running at 5am know about not running at 5am?.

👟That awkward moment running near a friend's house when you want to text them, "Hey, can I poop in your bathroom real quick?"

👟I'm sorry if I don't wave back at you while I'm running. It's just that I'm trying very hard not to die.

👟So my rugby player son and I actually WENT FOR A RUN. I can't tell if the taste in my mouth is victory or blood from my lungs, but I'll savour it.

👟I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.

👟I always hope that when people see me outside running, they think, "Wow, an athlete!" but instead, it's probably like, "Aw, good for her."

👟If you ever hear me say I "love" running, I want you to sign me up for a backwards marathon down a set of spiral stairs.

👟Don't cry because it's over, cry because you forgot Body Glide and it's time to shower.

👟I saw this girl on the trail today... No iPhone. No earbuds. No smartwatch. No hydration. She just ran. Like a total psycho.

👟The most awkward thing about running with friends is figuring out which person is most likely to be the fast runner, who is taking it easy for the day, and which person is the slowpoke running much faster than usual but pretending they're not dying.

👟I hate when the phone automatically corrects "omw" to On My Way! ...I'm not that excited for a midweek run.

👟 "It could be drugs," I whisper to myself as I buy another pair of running shoes on an extremely tight budget. "At least it's not drugs."

👟And here we f*cking go again! I mean, “good morning”

👟Another fine day ruined by a long run.

👟Never seen anyone cycling and smiling, so that's all I need to know about that.

👟Okay, hear me out: an old-fashioned candy necklace with Tylenol and Ibuprofen.

👟Sometimes, I wonder what happened to the hikers who asked me for directions.

👟Came home after a long run, and my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I'm surrounded by fakes.

👟Apart from being exhausted, financially unstable and nearing a mental breakdown, training is going great, thanks.

👟Long story short, I want to be sponsored by a shoe company.