ZLDR JANUARY CHALLENGE

According to Bruce Springsteen and modern research, we were born to run. Yeah…..I don’t know…doesn’t sound right to me.

I mean, if you take a look at my “thoughts / feelings” during January 2023, you will see that I was definitely not born to run.

👟1 January 2023: I woke up in running clothes. I really admire Drunk Me and her ambitions.

👟Do people running at 5am know about not running at 5am?.

👟That awkward moment running near a friend's house when you want to text them, "Hey, can I poop in your bathroom real quick?"

👟I'm sorry if I don't wave back at you while I'm running. It's just that I'm trying very hard not to die.

👟So my rugby player son and I actually WENT FOR A RUN. I can't tell if the taste in my mouth is victory or blood from my lungs, but I'll savour it.

👟I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.

👟I always hope that when people see me outside running, they think, "Wow, an athlete!" but instead, it's probably like, "Aw, good for her."

👟If you ever hear me say I "love" running, I want you to sign me up for a backwards marathon down a set of spiral stairs.

👟Don't cry because it's over, cry because you forgot Body Glide and it's time to shower.

👟I saw this girl on the trail today... No iPhone. No earbuds. No smartwatch. No hydration. She just ran. Like a total psycho.

👟The most awkward thing about running with friends is figuring out which person is most likely to be the fast runner, who is taking it easy for the day, and which person is the slowpoke running much faster than usual but pretending they're not dying.

👟I hate when the phone automatically corrects "omw" to On My Way! ...I'm not that excited for a midweek run.

👟 "It could be drugs," I whisper to myself as I buy another pair of running shoes on an extremely tight budget. "At least it's not drugs."

👟And here we f*cking go again! I mean, “good morning”

👟Another fine day ruined by a long run.

👟Never seen anyone cycling and smiling, so that's all I need to know about that.

👟Okay, hear me out: an old-fashioned candy necklace with Tylenol and Ibuprofen.

👟Sometimes, I wonder what happened to the hikers who asked me for directions.

👟Came home after a long run, and my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I'm surrounded by fakes.

👟Apart from being exhausted, financially unstable and nearing a mental breakdown, training is going great, thanks.

👟Long story short, I want to be sponsored by a shoe company.

The jogging Dead

Let's file this story under the heading "Only in Ireland..."

I went out for my morning run in a thick Ireland fog. The sun wasn't quite up yet. No one else was out on the street. It was eerie yet peaceful. In other words, a typical Irish morning.

This was my fourth straight day of running, so my body was sore. To urge myself through the exercise (torture?) I promised I'd go at a slow pace and only do 10km. My body agreed to those terms.

About a km and a half in, as I struggled to take the steepest hill on this course, I heard this freakish scream behind me (no, the view of me from behind is not frightening!).

I turned just in time to see a man with a crazed look in his eye and a massive axe in his hands, running straight for me (and, yes, I was jealous that he was running much faster than I had been!).

I froze. "What the hell are you doing?" I demanded in the thickest of South African accents (I like to bust it out when I need to intimidate someone... like a dude trying to behead me).

"I saw you trudging along all limping and moaning in the fog," he replied "I thought you were a zombie!"

Oh. Well, that made perfect sense. I apologized for turning his own weapon on him, helped him to his feet, and explained that I was just a half-asleep runner with a bum ankle.

We laughed, I thanked him for his dedication to keeping the streets safe from zombies (this is Ireland after all!), and he invited me to his weekly "Walking Dead" watching party.

To my fellow joggers... we live in an anxious time. If you're going to run on a foggy morning, be ready, for there are men with axes who might mistake you for the undead.

This is why we always stretch before we run...

Weirdest Things Runners Do

After running for 16 years, my life has become progressively weirder. Not only do I do things that ordinary folks think are unbelievable/weird/crazy/stupid, but what I think is standard is anything but for the general population.

And with each passing year, the harder it becomes to stop running. The odd rituals and obsessive tendencies become further ingrained in my personality until they help define who I am.

Sleep isn’t just fun, it’s recovery.

A bathroom stop isn’t just a relief. It’s a chance to check your hydration.

Parks aren’t just for picnics; they’re for barefoot strides.

Food is evaluated as fuel.

Indeed, we’re a wacky bunch. But that’s what makes us fun – our idiosyncrasies are what bonds, unite, and strengthen runners everywhere.

So from one weird runner to another, I just want to say that it’s great to be weird together. 

To celebrate runners, I’ve created a list of the top 13 weirdest things we do because we run. But these are primarily from my experiences as a runner. I’d love for YOU to add your own oddities, obsessive-compulsive rituals, and crazy tendencies in the comments below.

Let’s have some fun!

Our Weirdest Running Habits

Runners aren’t just weird about what they do, but also because of what they like and what they wear. These are our weirdest tendencies, habits, and preferences – and they might just sound familiar.

1. We have a skewed sense of weather. Tropical storm caused record flooding? Lightning? Triple-digit temperatures? Well, you gotta get in your run!

My response: It will take a nuclear holocaust to stop me from running.

2. Our hobby isn’t as “fun” as others. Getting up at 4am to run over 26 miles / 42km for fun this weekend was a CHOICE! This is what I do for fun! Why my non-running friends don’t get this is beyond me.

My response: Oh, you’re in a kickball league? Neat.

3. Nipple Band-Aids! While I’ve never needed to tape my nipples, it’s a tried and true strategy for those of us predisposed to chafed, bloody, raw nipples. The next time your nipple is pouring blood, don’t forget that you chose to run!

Other sports require their participants to wear jock straps. We have Band-Aids… for our nipples.

4. Our definition of “far” is very different. We run more per week than you probably drive.

Once on the weekend, we’ll run far enough to prompt our family members to say, “That’s why they invented cars.”

5. We are Gear Junkies! We own more shoes than fashion bloggers.

Most runners could be mistaken for paid tech consultants because of their expertise in programming GPS watches, heart rate monitors, and wearable tech that the general public doesn’t even know exists.

And socks? I own more than 30 pairs.

5. Our commitment is steadfast. Yes, we run almost every day. Yes, we do it in challenging weather. YES, we get up before dawn to run!

I die on the inside when people are incredulous that I run most days.

6. We run a LOT. Not only do some of us run every day, but some runners do it TWICE in one day!

Tell a non-runner you’re going for the day’s second run and watch their head explode.

7. Bathroom breaks don’t need to happen in bathrooms. Taking a quick pit stop outside is no big deal (just make sure you have a tall blade of grass to hide behind).

Using the facilities without facilities doesn’t even phase me anymore – just another Saturday!

8. Shoegasms. Runners get more excited about a new pair of running shoes than most people do about getting a new flat screen.

Look at those colours! The heel-toe drop differential! Wait, is that Fresh Foam?!

9. We downplay what others think is extraordinary. Running a marathon, training for hours, and finishing races faster than most can finish them on a bike makes others think we’re superhuman.

But to us, it’s just something we love to do. And when the extraordinary is normal, that’s a weird world to live in.

10. Wear gratuitously short shorts. Shorts with a 1.5-inch seam and a split leg design attract the scorn of non-runners everywhere. And have prompted some of the most hilarious taunts I’ve ever heard:

Hey, why are you wearing your sister’s shorts?!

Mommy, why is that man naked?

Why are you wearing booty shorts? Get your life together!

11. Own too many running books. Just look at my collection of running books for just a glimpse into my library. Who owns so many books about one sport? How much is there to really know about running?

I think it’s entirely reasonable, but my “normal” friends think I’m fit for a straight jacket.

12. Shaved legs (on guys). Look at the front of the pack at any major road race, and you’ll notice quite a few smooth legs on the male runners.

Besides swimmers and cyclists (who have better reasons to shave), male runners do it to feel fast and look intimidating. Now THAT’S weird.

13. Require ample “skippy doo” space. You need space for all those warm-up and core exercises – which are affectionately called “skippy doos” by a friend of mine.

Now I demand a living room clear of furniture to have ample space to do all those exercises. When family or friends are visiting, they laugh their heads off.

 Running with a South African.

-or a Springbok as some Frenchmen like to call me-

If any of my Zwift friends decide to visits South Africa here is some weird things about South Africans you need to know.

     

1. 

   
   

    Robots are called robots. Also, traffic lights are called robots, and there’s no reasonable explanation. 
   

Bang your head here...

Your failure to start is your failure to finish. 

I could end this blog here because it’s literally that simple. However, what does failure to start actually mean?

Getting older has some valuable benefits. One of the key benefits is the beauty of hindsight and experience. Life is such an incredible teacher if you are awake enough to really hear her teachings.

We often talk about great teachers, great motivators and their innovative ideas, but essentially, there is nothing new. Most things are absorbed and regurgitated with an individual spin. What is the difference between these agitators for change and those who feel stuck?

The change agents simply started. Life kept dishing up the lessons, and they kept listening whilst staying out of judgment, remaining awake in that process, and life did the rest.

If you feel like you are banging your head against the wall, you are not listening. 

Many people think they are on their way to their goals because they are putting in a ton of effort.

You’ve heard all the memes: don’t quit, be the lion, chase your dreams, etc.

After you’ve heard all the pumped-up rhetoric and you spin your wheels, “efforting to get there”, it gets tiresome, loses its juice, feels empty, and apathy sets in. An empty shell is now chasing a shadow on the wall. The feeling of banging your head against the wall is the analogy most would draw.

So the thing is, you don’t need to jump on a plane and fly to the States to spend 6 days with Tony Robbins, pumping yourself up. Not that there is anything wrong with that if it gets you moving, but eventually, the motivation has to start burning inside you again, as it once did, not outside of you. No one else can take responsibility for your fire. You lit it; you have to keep it burning.

You need to follow the threads back and find out where the fire ignited in the first place. What was the feeling that took place in your body, gut and heart that set fire to this goal? 

Because in the feeling of banging your head against the wall, if you look, if you really look, you’ll find out that you’ve lost contact with that initial feeling and the fire has gone out.

If you really want something to manifest, you have to get good at wanting it. You can’t want something with thought; it’s not strong enough. Why? Because thinking is an illusion. It takes you to a place where you imagine yourself successful; you daydream about it. It’s the ego wanting to add more to itself. It’s not strong enough motivation, and life knows it.

You have to stay in flow with the goal. Be still, visualize it, feel it, taste it, and then start whilst holding those things in place, and when things are toughest, connect to those places even more.

Whenever you get kicked in the guts or slip backwards, ask yourself, “What is the lesson?”

Never give up? Sorry, unless you stay in touch with your heart and the fire in your belly, you will have to stop; you’ll have no choice. Because you can’t keep a fire burning by pouring water on it. Once it’s gone out, you are wasting your time sitting in front of it, thinking it will keep you warm.

What’s the point of all this? 📌

“Stop banging your noggin against the wall. It’s not about the goal; it never was!”.

When you look into the initial feelings of the goal, you will see and feel it clearly.

It’s all about “YOU”! Your fire, desire, heart, and soul.

If you read this and think, “Oh, this is more of that hippy-type rhetoric”, that’s fine. Go back to sleep, but know you are returning to hitting your noggin against that wall.

When we were kids, we all had dreams, and we gave them up to settle for reality. Reality is bland and life is tough, three squares, a BBQ, a beer and a 9 – 5 job is what we do, right?

Bulls..t! It’s what we settle for because we lose touch with our inner fires and talents. Life is beautiful if you are happy where you are; by all means, enjoy it to the fullest if you are not feeling a pull.

If, however, you are sitting on top of a powder keg and deep inside, it’s calling you out, or it has called you out, and it now feels flat because you feel you have failed, it’s because you never really started.

How do I start towards this goal? ✔

Fill your space with your own essence. Not your thoughts, your essence. 

Let that be the driver behind all you do, even if it seems risky. Go out on a limb and do what your essence tells you to do; trust your gut. 

When it goes pear-shaped, pick yourself up, connect back to the essence, fan the flames of your own desire, and pick up where you left off with the lessons you have learned.

If the steps towards your goals have been full of thought, judgment, and effort, you have failed to indeed start your journey. The fire is smouldering; no wonder you are feeling cold.

You cannot superimpose yourself onto a goal. You cannot project yourself outwards to a goal; you have to attain the goal as part of your own experience. 

This is because you are the one who will go through the goal if you do attain it. 

Notice that sentence; it’s going through you, not the other way around. There is no goal without you. In fact, there are no goals at all without you. You are the common dominator in everything.

It’s all coming from within you; everything does. So why does life have you banging your head against the wall? 

Because it’s hoping one of those whacks will wake you up and make you realize that there is only one. 

There can only ever be one – You!

❤❤❤

Have a great Comrades 😎

COMRADES - by coach Gerrie Coetzee 

For many, the traditional marathon is no longer considered the ultimate endurance running event! Comrade running has emerged as a popular way for runners to challenge their bodies and minds.

Many people choose to do Comrades as a personal goal and challenge, while others are highly competitive.

Comrades running requires many hours and significant effort to train for such a long distance. Comrades are held on a challenging route, which means some training sessions must have been done specifically for Comrades conditions.

Before starting the Comrades, the following questions should be considered when planning your race.

My Plan

• What is my goal finishing time?
• What is my average pace per km?
• What is my longest training run 6 weeks before Comrades 2019?
• What are my best Marathon Time 12 weeks before Comrades 2019?
• Did I experiment with my Comrades Race strategy and nutrition in my Long run leading up to Comrades 2019?

DO

🎀 It is okay to be nervous in the weeks leading up to Comrades and Question yourself about your Comrades preparation.

🎀 Maintain your regular diet in the week leading up to the race. If carbo-loading (you have done this before another ultra-marathon), Although marathon runners are used to eating a lot of calories during peak training seasons, Do not cut back or load up, despite the inclination to do so. One of the keys to effective tapering is eating the same amount of calories, but not working out as much so you can store energy up, basically, don’t be extreme in one way or the other. Don’t eat too many calories or too little. What you eat over or under your average might cut back on physical gains you’ve made during training. This will prevent that heavy full feeling and unnecessary toilet stops.

🎀Stay as close as possible to your normal training week, the week leading up to the Comrades. Mileage is less per session.

🎀 The night before the race: Pack out all your gear, pin your number to your vest and most importantly, tie your timing chip to your running shoe.

🎀 Plan to go to bed early two nights before the race.

🎀 Eat the pre-race breakfast that you have tested in training, and take a bottle of water or energy drink with you to the start line.

🎀 Take into consideration that there will be heavy traffic heading towards the start, so give yourself enough time to get there.

🎀 Check the weather forecast and plan for any predicted adverse conditions such as rain, strong winds, and heat.

🎀 Rehearse your refuelling and re-hydrating strategy (which you have hopefully practised in training!) in your mind. Include problem-solving what to do if things go wrong or there are unexpected conditions, e.g. a heat wind. You don’t want to be figuring out what to do on the run!

🎀 Familiarize yourself with where the parking areas are and the route you would need to walk to the start line.

🎀 Stick to your own Race Pace.

🎀 Conserve your energy, trying to make up time lost at the start. You climb three of the Big Five Hills before halfway.

🎀Run at a moderate pace from the start of the race, particularly on the uphill sections. If your breathing is heavy on any of the climbs, you have to slow down.

🎀There should only be one mantra you carry with you to the finish line: I’ve done the training, and my body can run 87 kilometres.

🎀Break the race into sections, do not think about the total 87km’s, It works for me to do countdowns “I am in the 70’s or 60’s or 50’s, remind yourself of training sessions done.

🎀 Make sure you know precisely where you are on the route and what is still ahead.

🎀 If you meet family or friends after the race, plan an easy-to-find meeting point. You will not want to walk around looking for people after the race.

🎀 If you going to do the run-walk strategy, walk on the Big Five Climbs or Run to the water point. Walk through the water point and run to the next water point.

DON'T

🎀 Reduce mileage too soon!

🎀  Try anything new!

🎀 Try to squeeze in extra training. It is time to take it easy! It is always good to have a complete rest or mobility session two days out and to do a light run with strides the day before to prevent feeling sluggish.

🎀 Start eating healthier the week before Comrades. Stay in your routine.

🎀 Try any new energy bars, gels or drinks you have not tested in training. No matter how good the claims are on the label sound!

🎀 Leave buying your race nutrition to the last minute.

🎀 Run in brand-new shoes.

🎀 Overindulge at the pasta party. If you are not used to pasta, stay away.

🎀 Walk around the race expo for hours.

🎀 Listen too much to other runners. Stick to your own plan.

🎀 Forget your timing chip!

🎀 Drink abnormally large amounts of water the day before. This will lower your electrolyte balance and have you running to the bathroom all night.

🎀 Don’t drink too much water; this could cause the level of salt (i.e. sodium) in your blood to drop too low, which can be fatal. Feeling hot? Regularly sponging your head, neck and legs with cold water will do the trick.

Have a great Comrades

Mind versus the body

The mind is like water, necessary for survival and productivity. But can just as easily drown out that likelihood of success.

I can confidently tell you you’ve never seen your body’s limitations; what you’ve seen is the limitations of your mind.

When you’re tired or uncomfortable, weak or unsure, these things start as fear being planted in your brain and attempting to grow roots. Looking to acquire the real estate that exists between your ears. It is a powerful source. It can manipulate you, your reality, anyone and everyone around you, but it only exists with your permission, and we’re not always cognizant that we’ve opened the gate and let it in. That’s the crazy part. Oh, but we do.

Subconsciously or not, it’s the reason you haven’t gone as far as you can go, pushed as hard as you possibly can because, at some point, fear stood between you and what you want. At some point, you started asking yourself if you have gone too far.

Look it doesn’t matter if its athletics, or rugby or business or anything, when things become uncomfortable or it hurts fear always shows its face. It’s not because you're dragging your leg on the floor or your knee gave out, it’s not because you can't go on, it's because those thoughts trickle into your mind about being unable to finish. What if I can't handle this? I don’t usually go this far. Am I pushing harder than I usually do? Is this right? Is this dangerous? Is it over the top?

These thoughts are the seed of destruction. A virus.

There’s a saying in Naval Special Operations that when your mind tells you you're done when you feel maxed out, you are only at 40% capacity. You haven’t even scratched the surface. Value isn’t obtained until, in one way or another, you can realize this and push the panic and the anxiety back underground.

You’re not stopping because you can't go on; you're stopping because of the “what ifs” and the worst-case scenarios. You're stopping because you're preconditioned to stay within boundaries. That seed has grown into concerns about the world conspiring against you, but the body does not control the mind; the mind dictates what the body does.

The thing about life is that we all have narratives; we all have stories that we believe in, and that's why it’s crucial. Everything that happens to or around you will be moulded into your narrative. If you see something as crazy far-fetched or impossible, life will be nothing more than evidence of that belief; the pain will be a wall 10 feet high.

The old saying is: seek, and you shall find. What you look for is what you get. Expect greatness, and the body will listen. Your world will conform. That’s why believing is being. The body it executes. Loyal to every belief. You’ll always be what you decide to be.

Runner's Creed

Let me tell you something you already know.

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows

It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

Nothing is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you are hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward...

This is my run. There are many others like it, but this one is mine!

My run is my haven. It is my life, and I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my run is nothing! Without my run, I am nothing!

I must run its roads true; I must run faster than the stress of the world that is working to drag me down. 

I must outrun stress before it overruns me. 

I will. I swear this creed.

My run and I are defenders of my sanity. 

We are the masters of my body.

We are the saviours of my life.

So be it. 

Until victory is mine, and nothing remains but peace.

Running - Are YOU in for 💯?

Marathon running is a sport of goodwill. It's the only sport in the world where if a competitor falls, the others around will pick him or her up. 

It's the only sport in the world open to absolutely everyone, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity or any other division you can think of. 

It's the only occasion when thousands of people assemble, often in major cities like Pretoria, Johannesburg or Cape Town, for a reason that is totally peaceful, healthy and well-meaning. 

It's the only sport in the world where no one ever bosses anybody. 

BUT...

Running isn't a sport for pretty boys with visions of grandeur. 

It’s about the sweat in your hair and the blisters on your feet. 

It’s the frozen spit on your chin and nausea in your gut. 

It’s about throbbing calves and cramps at midnight that are strong enough to wake the dead.

It’s about getting out the door and running even when the rest of the world is only dreaming about having the passion that you need to live each and every day. 

It’s about being on a lonely road and running like a champion even when there’s not a soul in sight to cheer you on. 

Running is about having the desire to train and persevere until every fibre in your legs, mind, and heart is turned to steel. 

And when you’ve finally forged hard enough, you will have become the best runner that you can be. 

And that’s all you can ask for.

That’s what running does to lives. 

It's not just exercise. 

It's not just an achievement. 

It's a daily discipline that has nothing to do with speed, weight, social status, sexual orientation, political affiliation, where you live, what car you drive, or whether anyone anywhere loves you. 

It's about the slow and painful process of being the best you can be. 

That's why the first step out the door is always so hard. 

That's when we choose between settling for average and being a superhero version of ourselves.

Rise and shine.

5am, and your hand can’t make it to the alarm clock before the voices in your head tell you that it’s too early, too dark, and too cold to get out of bed.

Aching muscles still rebel, pretending not to hear your brain commanding them to move.

The voice you’ve chosen to listen to is one of defiance.

A legion of voices are shouting their unanimous permission for you to hit the snooze button and go back to dreamland, but you didn’t ask their opinion.

For what is each day but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way.

A voice that says there was a reason you set that alarm in the first place. So sit up, put your feet on the floor, and don’t look back because we’ve got work to do.

Welcome to The Grind!

10,000 streams fan out like a river delta before you, each one promising the path of least resistance.

Because the easy way out will always be there, ready to wash you away; all you have to do is pick up your feet.

The thing is, you’re headed upstream.

And when you make that choice, when you decide to turn your back on what’s comfortable and what’s safe and what some would call “common sense”, well, that’s day 1.

From there, it only gets tougher.

So just make sure this is something you want.

But you aren’t going to, are you?

Your fears, your doubts, and insecurities all lined up like a firing squad ready to shoot you out of the sky,

With each step comes the decision to take another.

You’re on your way now.

But this is no time to dwell on how far you’ve come.

You’re in a fight against an opponent you can’t see, Oh, but you can feel him on your heels, can’t you?

Feel him breathing down your neck...

You know what that is?

That’s you…

But don’t lose heart.

While they aren’t easily defeated, they are far from invincible.

Remember, this is The Grind

The Battle Royale between you and your mind, your body and the devil on your shoulder who’s telling you that this is just a game, a waste of time, and your opponents are stronger than you.

Drown out the voice of uncertainty with the sound of your own heartbeat, burn away your self-doubt with the fire beneath you.

Remember what you’re fighting for, and never forget that momentum is a cruel mistress. She can turn on a dime with the smallest mistake. That one tiny thing you forgot to prepare for, she is ever searching for that weak place in your armour.

So, as long as the devil is hiding the details, the question remains, ” Is that all you got?” “Are you sure?”

And when the answer is “yes”. That you’ve done all you can to prepare yourself for battle, THEN it’s time to go forth and boldly face your enemy, the enemy within. Only now you must take that fight into the open, into hostile territory. You’re a lion in a field of lions.

So believe that voice that says

“you CAN run a little faster” and that

“you CAN throw a little harder” and that

“you CAN dive a little deeper” and that, for you, the laws of physics are merely a suggestion.

All hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says VICTORY is the only thing that can keep you alive.

So rise and shine.

Sweat, on the other hand, is for those who know it’s a choice.

Luck is the last dying wish of those who want to believe that winning can happen by accident.

So, decide now because destiny waits for no man.

And when your time comes and a thousand different voices are trying to tell you that you’re not ready for it, listen instead to that lone voice of descent, It’s all up to you now! that one voice that says:

“you are ready”

“you are prepared”.